Hello, world! I’m not usually one for blogs but as it’s supposed to be therapeutic and a good way to vent whatever feelings you have in the moment, I thought I’d give it a shot. Those negative feelings of depression and loneliness that can tear up the soul sometimes consume me and this is the place where I’ll pour them all out. But I also experience some amount of joy and content in my circumstances and they will be related here too.
Anyways, I suppose I should describe myself and my situation a little. I’m 19 years old, currently in university, and I’ve never had a boyfriend. It’s not all that surprising to me, but it apparently is to some folks who don’t know me well enough to know anything about my personal life. A couple of them even seemed astounded at the fact that I’ve never really dated. I have my theories as to why few guys have ever approached me, but nothing really solid and concrete other than the thought which likes to push its way into my mind every so often; the common “there must be something wrong with me” phrase. It could be the fact that I’m just so shy and introverted and, therefore, I come off as unfriendly, stuck up, aloof, cold, etc. to any person I happen to be meeting. This “unapproachable” vibe just keeps guys a good distance away from me and it puts the general public (aka. co-workers, classmates) off unless they actually take a chance to get to know me. But, then again, it’s best if I become more aware of my body language and the way I act and speak and change it so I appear more friendly and enthusiastic, which hopefully, would garner more people to come my way while I also approach them first more as well. But that could be a whole entry on its own. Maybe I’m just not all that attractive; but I consider myself to be average-looking at the very least, and while I lean away from thinness, plenty of women much bigger than me seem to have no problems finding men. Maybe I have a boring personality; while I am a naturally serious person, I do have a sense of humour and can be lighthearted when the occasion calls for it. Maybe, maybe, maybe. There are so many maybe’s that I’ve lost count! Perhaps it all boils down to the fact that I’m not exactly confident and comfortable in my own skin and people just sense it easily and that’s the reason guys have never seemed to like me. I guess I’d better at least act like I’m happy and together more and work on my social awkwardness so people won’t see right through me. *Ok well, this wasn’t a little description, but I tend to write too much in general. ^.^
But I digress. Whatever happens in my day-to-day existence that relates to my singledom on some level will end up being posted here. It’s meant for me to vent my feelings and be therapeutic so hopefully that works out well. I’ll see if I can find interesting articles, blogs, stories, people seeking advice, or what-have-you to put up in this space as this issue doesn’t seem to be much written about beyond people on answer websites or message boards listing the exact same theories I mentioned above as to why they don’t have a boyfriend. I hope I won’t bore you with my posts, so enjoy and take comfort in the fact that, if you’re one who’s never had a boyfriend (or girlfriend if you’re a guy or a lesbian) that you’re not alone! Or if you’re just any reader who happens to stumble upon my blog, don’t mind my run-on sentences, lol!

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August 12, 2008 at 2:24 am
ecrivain
Blogging can be therapeutic — for me, it is anyway. The key is to write more for yourself than for the sake of the people who stumble across your blog.
I’m hoping, as your blog progresses, that someone great will walk into your life — but I know that, whenver someone has said that to me, I’ve always had mixed feelings about it because it feels like I’m still playing the waiting game for “the one.”
Welcome to the blog world. =)
August 12, 2008 at 3:29 am
neverhadaboyfriend
Sweet…you started a blog…Rock on! I’ll be reading.
Ah, body language. Aren’t there studies out there saying that over 90 percent of communication is nonverbal? The thought of that being true is scary because I know my body language gives the wrong signals. I’m often told that I look focused, serious or in my own world. Some stuff you just can’t help. But I may be picking up some books about body language pretty soon, because nonverbal communication isn’t only key in social situations, it’s important in career situations as well.
August 12, 2008 at 3:51 am
silencio1
ecrivain: Yes, I’m going to write more for myself than for others reading it, but I’m also hoping other going people in a similar situation can relate to it and not feel so alone either. But in the end, the blog is really meant for me to vent my feelings about this particular subject. I do hope that some great guy will magically walk into my life, but I’m not so sure about that. I hope someone comes into your life soon as well!
neverhadaboyfriend: I think those studies are right in saying that nonverbal communication plays a big part in how we interact with people. Perhaps I should pick up a book or something on body language myself so that I won’t be sending the wrong signals anymore either. Thanks for reading!
August 17, 2008 at 11:58 pm
Anomylous
I agree with ecrivain, the most useful and therapeutic posts have been the ones where I’ve been most candid because even though I’m taking a risk with revealing my feelings, in the end, there’s always someone out there who has either gone through or can identify with where you’re coming from.
October 6, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Carrie
Hello! I came across your blog while googling and have to say that you’re in exactly the same boat as me! I am 22 years old and have never had a boyfriend (neither have any guys approached me). I’ve tried thinking of what’s wrong with me but I can’t think of why, why I have been single all the while. One of my good guy-friends couldn’t believe his ears when I told him I have never had a bf.
October 24, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Katya J
Hi there, another person in the same boat here – 34, a virgin and never had a boyfriend. Apparently my body language is sending out the wrong signals too – male friend told me while I was in a bar with him recently that I appear unfriendly/unapproachable. I do try to look relaxed and open but as I’m shy and nervous and feel even more so when attempting to socialise, it’s hard to force my body language to say something different. I’ve been browsing your blog Silencio (and those of ecrivain, never had a boyfriend and anomylous) and it’s so good to read of experiences similar to mine. I’ve commented on the odd post on some of the blogs and it was so good being able to be open and honest about things for once, so much so that I decided to start my own blog-as-therapy. It’s rather embryonic at the moment as it’s been a long time since I wrote anything of any length not work-related. All the best to all.
October 25, 2008 at 4:16 am
silencio1
It is hard to know whether our body language is unapproachable when we’re trying to act open and laid-back which is confusing, haha. Yes, it’s good to know other people out there are experiencing the same things as you, makes one not feel so lonely. Blogging really helps to let everything out. I’ll be keeping a lookout for yours and welcome to the blogosphere!
October 25, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Katya J
Letting everything out is just the right phrase for it. I’ve tried keeping a diary of my feelings on the subject in the past and that helped to stop them overwhelming me and my so far brief experience with blogging is helping in a similar way. I can write way more here that I can on paper though, which is good for me, maybe not so good for anyone reading lol!